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Ed, Edd n Eddy's Boo Haw Haw/Script
red leaf breaks off a tree and floats gently to the ground. It floats down and lands on Edd's hat. Edd notices and closes the book he is reading. He plucks the leaf and places it on a pile of identically colored and shaped leaves. Edd looks at the leaves, neatly arranged on the school steps, and glances at his watch. It is 4:05. He then reopens his book and resumes reading. The camera zooms out to show that he has neatly arranged all types of fallen leaves around the front of the school. Suddenly, the door blasts open, and the leaves flutter all over the place. Eddy storms out. Eddy: crabby "Stupid teacher! Can you believe the nerve of that guy? Dishing out detentions on Halloween!" leads Edd away. Edd: "Reap what you sow, Eddy. You filled the teacher's desk with processed cheese. A strict violation of school policy." Eddy: "Ed's the violation. C'mon! I got something that's gonna make this the coolest halloween ever!" two run away. Suddenly, the screen jiggles, and the show takes on the appearance of an old movie. ---- credits roll. The title card appears, reading "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Boo Haw Haw" with "Boo Haw Haw" in red. The "Boo Haw Haw" melts into a red, bloody goop and flows downhill. It flows to a mailbox, which ripens and explodes, revealing a giant skull. The skull opens its teeth to show that the special was written by Danny Antonucci, Jono Howard, and Mike Kubat. The camera shifts to a lamppost, with a giant eyeball replacing its light. It bends down and reads the storyboard: Big Jim Miller, Scott Underwood, and Joel Dickie. The lamppost then turns its light on a fire hydrant, which mutates into a giant crab. The crab turns its back to show a placard reading "Directed By Danny Antonucci." The crab wriggles down the street, and a ghost floats up. The camera cuts to ---- and Eddy are nearing Ed's room. Outside, it is decorated with gravestones, skulls, pumpkins, and various other Halloween paraphernalia. Eddy: "Oh Lumpenstein!" dives in. Edd cautiously looks into the room and sees Ed, watching movies. His chair is surrounded by boxes of horror movies. Eddy: "You'll never believe what I got!" pulls a folded piece of paper out. Ed stares at the TV, dazed and unresponsive. Eddy: in front of the TV "Hey! See?" doesn't respond. Edd feels along the walls for the light switch. Eddy: "Ed! Look! Blink or something, willya, you're scaring me!" turns on the light and turns around. His jaw drops. Edd: "Good lord. Look at all these videotapes!" Eddy: unable to get Ed's attention "What's with this guy?" Edd: "Sitting in front of a television for extended periods of time can induce a trancelike state and even rewire a susceptible brain." Eddy: "Brain? WHAT BRAIN!" unplugs the TV. Ed's eyes fizzle static like an old TV, and then he shakes his head as his eys return to normal. Ed sits up and looks around. Ed: excited "IT'S HALLOWEEN, GUYS! The night when ghosts and goblins come out to play." Eddy: "You just wait, Lumpy! I got secret directions to the craziest monsteriest place in the land." unfolds the paper. "It's called SPOOK-E-VILLE! I got them from my brother. Folks give out buckets and buckets of candy. Am I the man, Ed?" Ed: "You're the man, Eddy!" laughs. Eddy: "Spook-e-ville, Ed!" Edd: "May I, Eddy? Thank you." looks over the map. He examines it thoroughly before pronouncing judgement. Edd: "Well, I see atrocious penmanship runs in the family. Other than this, Eddy, I doubt you'll find anything, let alone a Spook-e-ville." Eddy: "What are you trying to do, ruin my–um–Ed's Halloween?" pouts. Edd: "Um, well, I suppose I could–" Ed: Edd "Spook-e-ville Double D! Vampires goblins and bats oh my! Vampires goblins and bats oh my! Vampires goblins and bats oh my!" ---- full moon shines bright over the cul-de-sac. Suddenly, Eddy jumps out of Ed's window. He is dressed as a zombie version of Elvis Presley. Eddy: "Woohoo! C'mon, boys, it's trick-or-treating time!" Ed: "Wait for me, Zombie Elvis!" is dressed like a Viking, although strangely he carries a spatula. Eddy: "Nice nut costume, Lumpy." Ed: indignant "I am Lothar! Viking! Protector of Montezuma." eyes fizzle with static, and he shakes his head. "Mice." Eddy: "Isn't this my spatula?" Edd: "My, aren't I frightening?" is dressed as some kind of giant single-celled organism; an amoeba, perhaps? Edd: "Rrr!" Eddy: "What the heck are you supposed to be?" Edd: "Guess, Eddy. I am less than five micrometers tall, yet I pack a truly terrifying punch." friends stare at him cluelessly. Edd: "Don't get too close, or I may infect you!" friends stand there, with no idea what he's talking about. Edd: "In the dark ages, I caused millions of deaths!" greets this revelation. Edd: exasperated "THE BUBONIC PLAGUE! I'M THE BUBONIC PLAGUE!" Ed: "Like on your teeth?" Edd: "NO! NOT PLAQUE! PLAGUE! PLAGUE!" Eddy: "Too bad. Spook-e-ville, here we come!" Eds race off to find the trail that will lead them to the promised land. ---- hears a giggling and creeps away. He looks into the lane and sees the Kankers, roasting marshmallows over a portable grill. Lee: "So I tell him, 'what size boot's your face wear?'" eyes fizzle static as he looks over the fence, and he sees the Kankers as witches stirring a cauldron. Red-haired witch: "The potion's ready, let's start the jinx." cauldron bubbles and fizzes as they cackle. "Monsters of the night, beasts from below, rise and get our errant foes." Blue-haired witch: "Make them scream!" Blonde witch: "Make them sweat!" All witches: "Give them the Halloween they'll never forget!" cauldron blasts yellow fire into the sky. It turns into a cloud that moves along the ground. It grabs at Ed and catches him. Ed rips free and runs. Ed: "RUN AWAY!" runs from the fence. The Kankers, no longer part of his hallucination, calmly eat their marshmallows. Marie: "Did you hear something?" look at May. May: "What? You guys know roasted marshmallows give me the toots." ---- blinks. He is using a magnifying glass to look at the map. Edd: "As best I can discern, the first clue to look for is a...dented stop sign?" runs past and grabs his friends. Ed: "Scary! Evil!" breaks through a fence and throws them behind Rolf's shed. "I saw three witches, and they put a jinx on you! he! and I! To send monsters after us!" Eddy: taunting "Monsters, you say? But they'll eat us alive! We'll have our brains sucked out of our skulls! It's up to you to protect us, Ed! So me and the germ can find the clues and escape to Spook-e-ville!" Edd: "Germ, indeed." Ed: determined "Righto. For I–" in front of his friends "–am Lothar! Slayer of the undead! And justice for all!" Eddy: "Thataboy, lowbrow! Now where were we?" directs Edd to the map. Suddenly, Ed headbutts them through the side of the shed. Ed: "Ssh. Something wicked this way comes." ---- rings a doorbell. Jimmy: "Trick or treat!" receives his candy and skips to the next house. Jimmy is in an alien costume. "Over the teeth and under the gums. Look out, tummy, here it comes!" peers at Jimmy from behind the house. His eyes fizzle static again and he sees Jimmy as a real alien. Edd: "What is Ed doing?" Eddy: "Holding us up, as usual." creeps out to stand behind Jimmy. Ed: "Drop anchor, evil alien from the planet of putridity!" "Alien": its ray gun "Be-be-bop, be-be-bop-boop-be-be-be?" Jimmy: longer seen through Ed's eyes "Ed? Ooh, you're a Viking!" Ed: "RAY GUN!" his dream, Ed believes he is running down a pitted path to get a pole. In real life, he digs up a stop sign. "Earth is not your salad bar!" leaps over to Jimmy, sign raised. Jimmy: "Be gentle!" brings the sign down on him. Edd: scared "Goodness gracious!" laughs, collapses into hysterics. Ed comes back carrying Jimmy's candy bag and his flashlight. Ed: Edd the flashlight "Its proton pulverizer, Double D. Protect yourself from the jinx." passes the bag to Eddy. Eddy: inside "Nice work, low lump." Ed: "Tweren't nothing." ---- as a princess, rounds a corner. She trips over something. Sarah: "Of all the stupid–" at what she tripped over "Jeepers creepers, Jimmy!" is embedded in the sidewalk, a casualty of Ed's hallucinations. Jimmy: "Eeh–aah–Ed attacked me, Sarah. He was so hairy and brawny!" [Sarah frowns angrily after hearing this.] ---- is sharpening his spatula. Edd: "Ed has gone beyond the bounds of acceptable halloween etiquette, Eddy!" Eddy: to the sign "Hey! A dented stop sign! That's the first clue to Spook-e-ville! We're on the right track!" Edd: "The sign that Ed dented?" taps Edd on the shoulder. Sarah: "WHERE'S JIMMY'S CANDY!?!?" Eds back up, scared. Ed's eyes fill with static again. Ed: hallucinating "You shall not feast upon our life's blood this eve, vampiressess!" [In his mind, Sarah is a vampiress wearing Sarah's costume minus the hat.] Sarah: on him "Jimmy's candy!" and Sarah fight each other. Eventually, Ed throws Sarah off. Ed: out a steak "A stake will defeat you!" rushes the "vampiress" and pins it to her chest. "Cafe au lait!" picks up the "vampiress" and throws her into a grave, defeating her. hallucination finishes, and we are back in the real world. It appears that Ed has really buried Sarah. Ed: "The vampiresses have ben vanquished. To Spook-e-ville!" leads the way. Eddy: following "Ed, got any more of those steaks?" picks up a watering can and pours it on the freshly dug grave. A plant sprouts, and Sarah, dazed, blooms in the middle of it. Edd: "Oh dear. Um, happy Halloween?" after his friends "Coming Lothar!" ---- and Eddy rush down the sidewalk, laughing. Edd races after them. Edd: "Fellows, wait!" exits a driveway and Edd runs into her. Nazz is dressed as a Medusa. Nazz: up giggling "Was that like a trick or a treat? Happy Halloween, Double D!" hauls him up. Edd: blushing "And a good All Hallows' Eve to you, Nazz. Ooh, kudos on your Medusa costume. A Greek mythological reference is a welcome change from the usual horror cliches." Nazz: "Dude!" opens her bag. "Wanna have some sugar coated bon-bons?" Edd: "Pardon?" Nazz: "Oh come on, whatever you're supposed to be, let's go check out the next house!" Edd: pulled away by Nazz "Well actually, I'm uh–expected somewhere. Oh dear." ---- and Ed are still running when Eddy suddenly stops. He grabs Ed. Eddy: "Hey, Double D's got the map! Spook-e-ville, Ed!" ---- knocks on a door. Edd: "Perhaps they're not home." Nazz: "It's Halloween, dude. Duh." Eddy: "What's he doing with Nazz? The weasel." eyes spit static again, and we see a brief moment of his hallucination. In reality, he uses Eddy as a springboard to rush at Nazz. Ed: "Release him!" Nazz: candy "Thank you!" Edd "This stuff's gonna go straight to my thighs." plows into her. In his hallucination, she is indead the fearsome Medusa. Ed: "Do not look in her eyes, lest you be turned to stone!" cannot help it–he peeks and is subsequently turned stony. In reality, Nazz gets up and looks at Ed, who is still, unmoving. We then switch back to the hallucination, where Lothar breaks the mold. He then takes some clothespins and places them over his eyes. He runs to a construction site in the hallucination and picks up a cement mixer. Running back to "Medusa", he brings it down on her and mixes her up. Ed: victorious "Venomous vixen of Macy's! Lothar has spoken." laughs and walks away. He trips over a wagon. Edd: "Ed! What has gotten into you?" Ed: up the wagon "We shall take this chariot." his friends "Yo! Forward to Spook-e-ville!" Nazz: in cement "You guys are totally in for it, that was so uncool!" ---- wagon screams down the street. Ed: "Bonzai!" heads off road for a rusted car. "Skip!" Eds crash into the car. Ed: out of the glove compartment "Lothar must adjust himself." Edd: himself from a seat "Edward! That's it, mister! I've had just about enough of–" Ed: "Shush!" steps out of the car. "Monsters have super good ears, Double D." begins to look for monsters around the car. Eddy, dazed, rises into the passenger seat. Edd: "Eddy, I'm becoming increasingly concerned about Ed's irrational demeanor! I fear the overingestion in viewing such a tawdry amount of horror movies has had an unfavorable effect on our friend!" Eddy: Edd's fears "So, what's the next clue?" Edd: the car "Why do I even bother? No one listens. What do they care?" at the map "It says the next clue to look for is an abandoned hearse. How silly! Where on earth would we find–" stops midsentence. He and Eddy look back at the rusting car, which is, indeed, a hearse. Eddy: "That's it! You found a clue!" Edd: amazed "Just as the map indicated!" Eddy: "Hearse? Check! What's this? Read it!" looks at the next clue. Suddenly, an egg hits him in the face. Kevin laughs. Kevin: out another egg "One down, two dorks to go. Man I love Halloween." Eddy: up "Oh, Lothar?" head pops out of the bushes. Eddy gets hit. Kevin: "One more to go." eyes go into static again and he sees Kevin as the headless horseman. Ed: "The headless horseman from Cirrhosis of the Liver Pool!" runs at Kevin. "Take the women to safety!" egg hits him. Eddy: his face "Is it me, or does raw egg smell like a wet dog?" grabs him and Edd. Ed: "Retreat! The horseman is too strong! Alley-oop!" throws them over a cliff. Kevin comes at him. Kevin: "Adios, goofball." Ed's hallucination, the "horseman" throws another flaming pumpkin at him. Ed catches it in his mouth and sends it back towards the "horseman", knocking him off his horse (Kevin's bike). Kevin: "Dude." horse heads for Ed and almost knocks him over the edge. Ed: "STOP!" picks up the "horse" and throws it at its rider. "Shoo! Fly! Don't! Bother! Me!" reality, the bike bounces a few times and lands in front of Kevin. It falls apart there. Kevin: "My bike!" Ed: "Tell the witches that their jinx is for naught!" jumps over the cliff and lands on his friends. Eddy: angry "Hey blowhard, you dented my hair!" Edd: groaning "I think I bruised my coccyx." Ed: "No thanks are necessary." Eddy: "I'll thank you right up your–" Edd: "Eddy, Ed's B-movie assimilation requires immediate psychiatric attention. We best turn back." Eddy: "Back nothing! It's Spook-e-ville or bust. Got it, spore boy? Next clue!" Edd: himself "Spore boy. Witty, very witty." reading "Unless I'm mistaken, it reads, 'at the bottom of the embankment, you will find a tall oak tree." stop. In front of them is a forest. Eddy: "There's a gazillion stupid trees!" Ed: "The flipper of my forefathers shall lead us to the path." puts his spatula to his ear and listens. "Is that so?" follows the indicated path. "Uh-huh. Do tell." Eddy: Edd "C'mon, he's on to something, Sockhead!" Edd: "This is ridiculous!" has stopped at the base of a tree. His eyes are fizzling with static again. Ed: whispering "Do not be afraid." is hallucinating a giant spider climbing down the tree. "The spider creature is a horrific, but sadly misunderstood monster who longs for companionship. And checkers." dressed as a spider, descends from the tree on a rope. Ed: "We come in peace!" Jonny: "Far out costumes, guys! What's Double D supposed to be, throw-up?" Edd: "Yes, well. And a happy Hallo–" brains him with the spatula. Ed: "One wrong word and we are goners!" Jonny "Oh great spider creature! We seek the path to Spook-e-ville! Help us, as we bring you offerings." holds up Jimmy's bag of candy. Edd: "I might caution that you have any and all Halloween candy carefully inspected by your parents as a–" spatula hits him in the face. Ed: "Silence. Do not incite his wrath." the "spider" "Do the offerings please you?" Jonny: chewing "Are you kidding me? Yummy yummy yummy! If it's a path you're looking for, maybe that's it!" points to a path through the woods. Ed: his friends down the path "A thousand gesundheits, oh misshapen one." Jonny: "If you see Plank, tell that slowpoke to get his hiney back here! I'm tired of waiting for him!" Eddy: "We're almost there! I can feel it in my sideburns!" ---- leads them past a moonlit swamp... ---- oddly shaped rock... ---- through a deep gorge. Eddy: "Idiot. We gotta be getting closer! What's the next clue?" Edd: "Good lord!" shadow of a giant is cast along a cliff by the path. Ed: "Stay still!" Edd: "What could that be?" Eddy: "Look at the map. Maybe it's a clue." grabs them. Ed: towards the giant "Lothar no need no stinking map, Eddy." Eddy: "Yeah, because Lothar needs a stinking brain!" pitches Edd forward. Edd lands on one of the figures next to the giant–Rolf's pig, Wilfred. The shadow was an optical illusion caused by the moon's low angle in the sky. Rolf: Edd off "Wilfred! Fleas again?" Edd: "Um, happy Halloween, Rolf!" Eddy: from behind a tree "Rolf?" Rolf: "Ho ho! One shy of a full load Ed-boys! Come celebrate in this, Rolf's autumn ritual of the Gathering of the Fungus Which Burns Into the Moist of the Moonlight!" is digging up mushrooms. looks at Rolf. His eyes shimmer with static again. Rolf: mushrooms "Try a nibble, a peck, a morsel, a gnaw." attacks. Ed: "Do not taste them!" crushes them. In his hallucination, Rolf is a one-eyed troll with a hook for a right hand. He brings his club down at Ed. Ed holds out his spatula to defend himself, but it is knocked away. Ed then begins to run. "Evil!" "troll's" pig creature (Wilfred) chases him and jumps on top of him. It knocks him into the tree where his spatula is wedged, and Ed fights to pull it out. In the real world, Rolf approaches him. Rolf: "Dodo Ed-boy, tell Rolf why Rolf should not beat you mercilessly with a stick." hallucinating, works furiously to get it out. When he does, it goes backwards, straight into the "troll's" eye. Rolf: backwards "(Speaks gibberish) Rolf's eye! Mama, a bandage! Rolf requires–" falls into a river. Eddy: irritated "Hey, can we get to Spook-e-ville before next Halloween?" Ed: them "Quickly! Before the troll's mother shows up." crosses a bridge and throws them ahead. Edd and Eddy are against trees. Ed continues to run until he slams into a giant green board with a nail hammered in it. "It is he! Franken-Plank!" has apparently slipped into another hallucination without noticing it. In it, he backs up until he reaches a huge log. He picks it up and uses it to beat the giant Franken-Plank monster. Ed: "Take this! And that!" go back to the real world. Edd: "Ed?" is beating Plank with a tiny branch. "Not again!" Ed: "Up your nose!" Eddy: annoyed "Ed this, Ed that. Why don't you just marry the guy?" grabs the map. "I'm going to Spook-e-ville." Ed: Eddy "I'm already taken, Eddy." looks at Plank, worried. He picks up the board and leans it against a tree. Edd: "Now, be a good lathe and go to Jonny." goes after his friends. ---- Eddy: "I can't read this stupid thing!" Ed: "Lothar knows all!" grabs the map while running, licks it, and sticks it to his face. "At the end of the path, look for the big rock." runs into a big rock. Eddy: "That's a rock!" Ed: "Behind the rock, touch the shovel." points to a shovel a few feet in front of the rock. Eddy: "Touched it!" joins them. Ed: "Under the hose we must go." Edd: stopping "Well, I never. Who would leave a perfectly good shovel–" Eddy: "Under the hose, Sockhead." pulls Edd under the hose. Ed: "Now, close your eyes and take ten steps backwards." Eddy: "One! Two! Three four five six seven eight nine ten!" lands under a streetlight's glow. "IT'S SPOOK-E-VILLE! Is my brother the man or what?" Edd: disconcerted "This is Spook-e-ville?" looks around the decorated houses. "There's something not quite right here, Eddy." Eddy: "Get a big bag, it's trick-or-treatin time!" Ed: "STOP!" and Eddy stop. "Do you hear it? They have joined forces to smash us! Leave it to Lothar! in the distance Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole..." Eddy: Ed runs off "Yeah, run, you boneheaded chinless lump. C'mon, Double D, let's hit that house!" runs up to it and rings the doorbell. He holds his container out expectantly. Edd: "Um, Eddy?" Eddy: impatient "What's with these people?" rings the bell four more times. Edd: "Eddy, look. Do you notice anything familiar about this house?" Eddy: "I'm thinking they're faking not being home." Edd: "Oh for heaven's sakes Eddy, this is your house!" Eddy: "What? I win the lottery or something?" Edd: "No, it's really your house. We've gone in a complete circle! We're back in the cul-de-sac!" Eddy: looking at the house "This is my house." Edd: "Seems your brother tricked rather than treated you this halloween, Eddy." Eddy: "Is my brother a jerk or what?" runs into them, pushing them backwards into a lamppost. Ed: spitting static "Act natural." kids advance, angry, beaten, bruised and in Nazz's case, stuck in a block of cement. Sarah: "Ed! You give Jimmy his candy back!" Rolf: "You have made a mockery of Rolf's fungal festivity!" Jonny: "Plank's pressing charges, you bullies!" Kevin: "Who's coughing up to fix my bike?" sees them as the gathered armies of the witches' curse. Ed: "Your mother wears army boots!" Eddy: "What now?" picks them up with his spatula. knocks the streetlight over and carries his friends to part of a fence placed over a hole. Ed: "Uninjured, unscathed, and uncola!" Edd: worried "Ed, if I may make a suggestion, I think everyone would...um..." pulls the boards away. Ed: "Abracadabra!" and Eddy fall into the hole. Ed jumps into it, placing the boards back over it to cover them. Ed: a lantern "We will wait here, safe till morn. The monsters have been defeated, and the witches' jinx dashed." hangs up the spatula on a protruding root, and places his beard and hat on a coatrack. "Lothar is pooped." rock hits him in the face, courtesy of Eddy. Eddy: "You idiot! How we supposed to trick or treat from down here." Edd: "Look on the bright side, Eddy. No cavities this Halloween." the hole fills with light. Ropes begin to descend for the kids to climb down. Jonny: "See? Plank was right!" Rolf: "Rolf sees them!" Eddy: scared "Ed! They found us out! Do something!" is in a chair of dirt, wearing a bathrobe. Ed: "Silly willies, there are no monsters, 'cause Lothar has conquered all." opens a newspaper. "Kids these days." Rolf: "Rolf wants the doggy doo-doo suit Ed-boy!" Kevin: "And I get the has-been rock star." Jimmy: "Oh, I'm gonna give 'em such a pinch!" Nazz: "Dude, count me in!" Edd: "Ed, if there was ever a time to have one of your horror-induced delusions, now is the time!" Eddy: desperate "Get the flipper, Lothar! Get the flipper!" kids grab him and begin to pound Edd and Eddy. Ed lowers his paper, and his eyes fizz with static again. What he sees is not horrible monsters; instead, he sees Edd and Eddy playing in a rain of flowers. Ed: "Aww. Ain't Halloween so sweet?" resumes reading the paper, and the beatdown continues. Category:Specials